Review By: Sergeant Hop - Platform: Xbox 360

Ah, Portals. Makes sense, doesn’t it? I don’t think there is a gamer out there that doesn’t know of it. Valve’s puzzle game that was released as part of The Orange Box has become an instant classic with its fun and addictive gameplay. Valve has also just recently announced Portal: Still Alive, the obvious sequel to the first game. Let’s dive a bit deeper into the gameplay though.
For one, you would probably be able to beat the game in the time it takes you to read this review. That is to be expected though, considering this comes in a set with four other games, and you can only portal around so much before it starts to get boring. But again, it’s all alright. This game makes up for it with stellar gameplay and, as far as I can tell, perfect physics. I haven’t done the math though.

It plays a little bit like a shooter, considering you shoot portals. That’s the only thing you can shoot though. You have to find a way to use the portals to disable your enemies. However, this is usually fun, and involves dropping things. The levels without enemies are accompanied with GLaDOS’ hilarious and ironic commentary.

All of the levels, in traditional style, become harder as you progress through the game, culminating in a big, difficult boss battle at the end. After passing 13-18, there’s a special challenge mode that allows you to play those levels with some sort of restriction that you get to choose. There is also an advanced mode that alters the world around you depending on how you think the game would be easier for you.
Valve knows what they’re doing when it comes to physics, a lot of their games being based around it. Garry’s Mod or G-Mod is the example of this, having the same physics engine as Portal and Half Life 2.
In the end, it’s horribly satisfying. GLaDOS is what makes this game as great as it is, and if it weren’t for her comedic commentary, it almost wouldn’t be worth playing. Well, that’s a lie, because it’s still fun, but it would be missing something. It’s all tied together with one of the most amazing credits songs ever, called “Still Alive”, which is also in Rock Band as DLC. Remember, folks. The cake is a lie.